My Wild Irish Road Trip

Excerpt from travel journal
Somewhere in the Irish countryside...
7-19-2005

Our road trip took us past many interesting towns…Ballykelly, Ballybogey, Billy Bob Bally. Went past the Country Lane B&B. Quaint farm house with many cattle in front yard. Must be their security system. “You’ll be protected around the clock by our vigilant bovines.”

Laughter is the best medicine. Saw a sign for Mr. Phlemy’s Furniture. Imagine walking in with sales staff clearing their throats. For accessories, visit Mr. Loogie’s Lamp Shoppe.

More evidence that Ireland is one of the most polite places in the world. In addition to seeing signs in buildings “please mind your step,” there are welcome signs to each village as well as ones thanking you for driving safely and bidding farewell in many languages: Good Bye, Bon Voyage and Gute Fahrt (which must be German for “bye-bye” or “I impressed myself and others with recently letting one rip”).

When one spends hours winding through the countryside, it’s amazing how observant one becomes. Cows and sheep seem to spend an infinite amount of time in the “grazing” position. With all that eating you’d think they’d be much larger than they are. However, they are prone to “gute fahrts” and, according to scientific studies, are the cause of ozone depletion due to belching and passing other gaseous methane substances.

All that eating also leads to position favoured by young children, “going potty.” Occasionally see livestock in “resting” position. For some reason sheep sleep near rocks.

More to follow...