Okay, I thought we were DONE with the birds.
Six Geese a-laying? Why does my true love bring me gifts that have sexual connotations? Or is it only my mildly naughty mind? Bad enough the 2 turtle doves cooing then the 3 French Hens...so would this be a double menage a trois or simply a goose orgy?
No, I'm not that stupid...of course I know the reference is they're laying eggs, which means MORE geese and subsequently MORE droppings everywhere.
My friend lives on a cul-de-sac that's near a pond in our neighborhood. The boys USED to go there to play street hockey, until these bad-ass geese took over the turf. Gang wars? No, the boys surrendered when the road became a slippery rink of goose glop.
Worse yet was when the goslings arrived. Have you ever walked within 100 feet of a mama goose? She'll chase you, do this funky thing with her neck like "don't you mess with my babies" and make an evil hissing noise that makes some horror movies look tame!
Movies like "The Omen", which was an eerie theme when that same friend was due a visit from her mother-in-law. Moments before her arrival, just as window cleaners were making the last pane sparkle, they reported "Ma'am, you have a dead goose in your yard." She distracted Mum with a gin and tonic while her husband hauled the body into the woods.
This situation prompted me to upload another track from my CD, Shelly Ryan: Seriously Weird! This retro blast to the past discusses great childhood literature. MY favorite author: Mother Goose! Listen...and laugh happily ever after!
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